You See It's A Joystick, But It's Really A Penis
Monday, February 16, 2009 at 4:46PM 
Standard UGO splash screen...
A young man named Patrick Alexander decided to give shameless dudes over at UGO advice on how to further objectify women. What occurs after the jump, could only be described as brilliant.
To: Chris Radtke, Managing Editor, UGO.com
Subject: Fan mail and a good joke!
Date: January 9, 2009
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing to say that I really like the 'teaser text' for your interesting and funny article, 'Top 50 Videogame Hotties'. It says: "You'll want to push these girls' buttons!"
I thought that was very funny, because they are women from videogames, and you play videogames by pushing buttons. Also, the women are very sexy, and if they had buttons, I would indeed want to push them, because I would want to touch the sexy women in any way I could!
I laughed at the joke, and then I thought of another clever joke you could use, which is also about videogames. I haven't worked out the details (I'll leave that to you experts!), but the idea is that you would refer to a man's 'joystick' in a clever way so that it could mean an actual joystick, or it could mean his penis. (Sorry if it's too dirty.)
Here are some examples:
"Lara Croft's new outing [meaning a new Tomb Raider game] is so exciting, just like Lara herself! I can't take my hands off my joystick."
"You'll need a big, flexible joystick to get the most out of [new Soul Calibur game]... because of all the sexy girls in it!"
"I prepare for my nightly 'Dead or Alive 4' session by oiling my joystick and tightening its nuts."
Those aren't very good but I'm sure you can come up with some funny ones!
I hope this joke is not too complicated. The idea is that a word ('joystick') has two meanings, but one of the meanings isn't a proper meaning; it's a meaning that the reader will imagine by himself. I looked it up and it's called a 'ménage à trois'. (It's French.)
Anyway, in case it's too complicated, here is a picture of the joke which will hopefully explain things better:
Click Image for the NSFW version
Please use my joke! But please email me and tell me if you do, so I can show my friends.
Keep up the great articles!
Yours in gaming,
Patrick Alexander
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Well done Patrick of Eegra.com you have etched yourself in the category, 'God Amongst Men'.
1up, Hilarious, UGO in Advergaming, Games Journalism, Humor 
Reader Comments (2)
The mortgage loans seem to be important for guys, which want to ground their own company. As a fact, that is not hard to receive a college loan.
OK that's is totally dirty, there's no doubt of that, I mean just read the letter that boy is thinking more in sex than in video games, well is not bad, but not in this way, sound pretty weird, the only fact of said joystick never been the same to me, now my concept of joystick has changed.