The Half-Blood Prince Review From A Non-Plussed Fan.

The sixth installment in the Harry Potter film franchise, you would assume the character development would be fleshed out and interesting to the average movie goer. Alas, Mr. Potter has suprised me again. Harry Potter is cute, pretty and has magical moments, unfortunately none of those moments equate to this movie being nothing short of a Goosebumps novel, scratch that, I actually like Goosebumps novels.  This movie is not dark, it is actually the fluffiest of the Harry Potter movies I have seen, granted I have seen the first, half of the second and the fifth prior to this two hour and 30 minute waste of time.

Harry Potter: Order Of The Phoenix left the viewer on quite the cliffhanger.  "Will this series ever have a satisfying ending?" or "How many more times will Daniel Radcliffe have that stupifying look on his face in the next movie?" All these things are great questions and are answered in Harry Potter: The Half-Blood Prince.  In short, 17 is the amount of times Daniel Radcliffe will look surprised that yet another evil plot is afoot at his alma mater, Hogwarts Academy.

Seconds Later...He Got Him Some

The plot is so dry and bland which is something that can only be attributed to screenplay writer, Steve Kloves.  I know I am not the target demographic for a Potter movie, but I saw a unicorn in the first one so I held out hope. In addition to doing some knee-jerk and then wall punch reactions to why Albus Dumbledore [oh yeah, I know his whole name!], played by Michael Gambon, plots these 'zany schemes' with Harry is actually what draws you into the movie. Unfortunately, what takes you out is the poorly translated love...err...quadrangle? Between characters that are so far beyond dull I am still considering not mentioning their names.

Here's what's awesome about the Potter movies.  The cinematography is incredible! This movie has the ability to look good and awful at the same time! How is this possible? Given the budget for the production, the CGI is amazing at times you really think there are wizards who play some lame version of rugby in real life! However, there are moments you see Harry and Hermione walking down the academy hallways and the styrofoam-esque columns look as if you could push them over with a nice leaning-on. Yes, that is nitpicky, but given the story is so fluff-filled the mind tends to wander.

Hermione Is No Doubt Conjuring Up A Spell That Will Make This Movie Less BlandLook, I know I'll be scolded for not being attatched to these characters because I did not invest my precious time with every single movie [and in some of you uber-fan cases...the books]. Can we not call this movie for what it is? An excuse to have these post-adolescents kiss each other? It is also an excuse to have one of your favorite characters snuffed out in order to move a franchise along. Every series has done it, Harry Potter is no different.

Aside from Sir Potter's trademarked "Home Alone" face, the most annoying aspect of The Half-Blood Prince is the sappy love story between Emma Watson's sometimes stale sometimes over acting Hermione. Opposite her tantrums is the love struck Ron Weasley, played by Rupert Grint who has the oafish look down-to-a-tee, now if we can get 30 minutes less of the 'gaga look' this movie would be better off. While love potions and awkward glares are being exchanged the viewer will probably need their 'inner-monologue' to scream "Can we get back to the main plot!".

"You Know What Diane?...I Think That Child Could Turn Out Quite Well"The action is the only saving grace of this movie, unfortunately the manner in which it is executed is hit and miss. Insult to injury is the predictibilty of the plot.  Hey guys, I think the guy who dresses in all black and talks like he has a mild case of Downs...maybe you want to keep a closer eye on that one, just a thought! Harry & Dumbledore's scene in the cave was amazing, watch the Half-Blood Prince for that, but if you cry you should be a shamed of yourself.

Who cries at an obvious outcome? Apparently the movie-goers who occupied the theater I attended felt that the 'big scene' was something akin to the Passion of the Christ. Where in which, you know what happens to this key character, but it still hurts to see the events transpire. Unfortunately, it fell flat for me [big surprise huh?!], because the CGI'd zombie characters who wrestled with Potter looked like recycled undead creatures from those awful Pirates of the Carribean movies. Cry for this love-heavy plot. Cry because at the bare minimum we have two more of these 'wizard child stories' coming our way and based off of these past two movies, they are not getting better. Crying is cool at movie theaters. If you are moved, so be it, but crying about something so poorly telegraphed in a movie so poorly executed...is really sad. Sad enough to make you cry.

The Half-Blood Prince is clearly not trying to gain more fans, but cater to the bunch it has acquired over the last eight years. As much as what was technically executed well in the design and look of the movie; the actors you look at feel like cold, emotionless...and very wooden.  I thought if I took a break from the Harry Potter movies, I would comeback to see characters with depth, well fleshed out and vibrant delivery. Alas, I went to a movie about wizards doing magic and killing and all I got was a half-assed love story.

 I give Harry Potter...

The Rating Of Boring, Oregon