Devil May Cry [PS2]: It Doesn't Get More Emo Than This

That's A Snazzy Trench Coat You Got There

I finally did it guys! I beat Devil May Cry 1 for the PS2! On my PS3! Aren't you excited for me?  Look, I know its been a while since I've updated my PS2 quest log, but I've really been working hard over here.  Making photos...I even buckled down and purchased a PS3.  So with the long wait finally over, here it is...here is how I feel about one of the longest running action games for Capcom.  I'll spoil the ending of this review...I kinda hated Devil May Cry.  I hated it a lot.

Firstly, let me start off by saying what I liked about this overly difficult, laughable epic action game.  Being an old school Resident Evil fan, you can't help but dig the gothic architecture and basic 'bad guy' design. Although you can not help but notice an almost copy & pasted version of the Raccoon Police Department station from RE2, with a brand new shiny church veneer which frames the tone of DMC's earlier missions.  When you are not in battle the music is actually pretty cool.  The music being the ambient sounds emanating from these haunted hallways and underground corridors you traverse to push along a 'yawn-worthy' story. However, with every skull encrusted door you open, there is always a monster closet.  Where there are monster closets in DMC1, there is apparently an awful techno-rock infused rave close by.

Oh yes...there will be cheesy cut scenes

For the uninitiate you play as Dante, a silver haired smart ass who can't help but get stabbed and joke about it afterwards.  You have apparently inherited the immortal powers from the senior vice-president to someone resembling the devil [you know...Old Scratch?].  Let us be clear, playing a game from 2009 is CLEARLY going to be developmentally different from a game like Devil May Cry, which was released in 2001.  I have not made it to the point of absolute jadedness [if that's a word] where I could play/enjoy a game that is clearly exploring a systems: new hardware limits, graphical & control capabilities, and more importantly, a new generation of gamers.

I get 'why' this DMC is fondly remembered and had I not already broken my 'playthrough alphabet rule', DMC would not look so primitive for someone who has not played the first God Of War which came out two years after DMC1's release. "Cool, you can juggle these marionette things with rapid fire gunshots and finish them off with a couple slashes of your sword"...awesome. Had it not been for one of the worst camera angles seen in a 3-D action game, I would have upgraded my 'hate' of DMC1 to an 'it was okay'.

If you aren't fighting against one of the worst camera shot set ups in crappy-game-design history then the lovely people at Capcom manage to throw some of the hardest bosses at you very early on in the game. What is worse to combat this? The fact that if you die [which you will] the minimalist save system [you can only save at the beginning or end of a mission] will knock you back to a point where fighting back to the place you once were, almost seems 'not worth it'. Or how about fighting these insanely difficult bosses multiple times than Dante says something pithy about his taste in trench coats.

Dante facing his 29185 Marionette...

The very end of the game you realize that not only is DMC1 too long, but this action game is also part role playing game.  If you did not power up every facet of your Alastor sword or your Ifirit Hands be prepared to die more than Xzibit would if he were playing this game. Be prepared to die while you die.  I have to stop typing...I am getting all upset again.

Let me close with this.  DMC1 made for a "good jumping-off point" [the mistakes in this game need not ever be repeated].  The clumsy camera stifles the control.  You need accurate controls in order to pull off your ridiculous, gun juggling, Matrix-esque combos. You need to be able to combo and inflict major damage in order to survive the seemingly god powered enemies you face.  Did I mention, the end boss is essentially a god. He literally destroys the ground you walk on and just when you think you have beaten him this annoying, button masher of a game gives you 15 more minutes with him.

In this "Not So Retro Review" I Give DMC1...

 A Varying Assortment Of Ways To End Your Game...Forever