E3 2010: Clipstravaganza! [Updated 6-17-10]

Now I know I had some pretty harsh words for E3. I mean it was just hours ago I went on a rant for the ages that has almost completely temporarily ostracized me from the rest of me E3 supporting nerds out there. But in keeping with last years theme, I stay vigilante and dedicated to making an entirely too long brog posting about the video released from this overly bloated expo.

Sidenote: Now that I think about it, I'm thinking about writing a 'low lights' of E3 posting in the future. And trust me...Ubisoft is taking up a lot of that.

I digress. Let's get to these fancy clips. I'll keep updating the post as soon as I get my hands on some uploaded video. Up first...Star Wars: The Old Republic...again.

[Update: Here Are The Press Conferences In Their Entirety -- Nintendo (part 2), Sony, Microsoft,  EA, Ubisoft , Konami]

Thanks to 1up, Machinima, IGN, Ustream and Youtube for the video!

Star Wars: Old Republic - This time we see an even fancier clip, where the opposition fails to COMPLETELY eradicate all of our heroes. Too bad, after all this time we still can't see any gameplay footage. At the very least we can pine over the fact that...someday, George Lucas will 'accidentally' fall down some stairs and a movie at the quality of these shorts will be made. Some where ... out there.

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II - You're gonna think I'm a huge Star Wars nut, but the truth is I'm more of a fan of these clips! The first Force Unleashed was a disappointment on a lot of levels, but man did it look gorgeous. Here's hoping the style meets the substance with this sequel.

XCOM - Still a little odd for a this remake to be made into a first-person shooter. I don't really care about the history of XCOM so...I mean, well -- lets just see what happens. 2K Marin is working on it and the BioShock comparisons will probably never end, but old timey themes are still new and quirky right? [see Fallout, BioShock, Mafia, Red Dead etc.].

Enslaved - Read about Ninja Theory's journey into choosing this title. Based off of an old Chinese folktale. The problem is, they are doing a piss poor job of promoting the history of this game. Instead we have a game called 'Enslaved' staring an oafish character named Monkey. I'll wait for the reactionist in the NAACP to get their loudest rabble rousers ready. Oh look, they put Co-op in it, hopefully its more useful than RE5, Army of Two or any of this new generation of games slapstick manner of introducing a gimmicky tool in an otherwise solid single-player concept.

Vanquish - A  team headed by famed game maker, Shinji Mikami, went into hiding and now we have this. A trailer that looks a lot like Gears of War. Well it at least it doesn't look like Quantum Theory. Oh! Quantum Theory isn't out yet you say? Whoops, well it looks like Sega could be on to something with this game. Japanese games don't have a good history of doing shooters great in recent years, but fingers are crossed. Pstar did Bayonetta. So by some weird form of deductive logic, this game has got to be at least decent right?

Homefront - A game doesn't have to be socially relevant. Games don't have to worry about weird nuances like 'taste' and 'class'. That's why, when I see a trailer for a game like Homefront I know that, eventhough I think this game is being promoted tastelessly and questionably -- I can still be intrigued.

Transformers: War For Cybertron - Really crossing my fingers that in my lifetime I get a good Transformers...anything. I got one movie and a couple of solid cartoon series about 14 or 15 years old. Can I please have a decent Transformer game this year? [Word is even the strictest of gaming journos have admitted that the fun packed in the game is packed with fun. That's right...I just typed that.]

Crysis 2 - One of 739 FPSs shown at this year's E3, but I have to say...I'm super jazzed and...no. I'm sorry guys, Crysis 2 looks great, but I just can't get out of bed for yet another FPS with a number at the end of its title. It looks great and I'm sure fans will give me the e-mail scolding of a lifetime, but I could really give a crap about Crysis and the engine it rode in on. [Sidenote: I'd love to see the CryEngine be put to use in something NOT FPS related].

Red Faction: Armageddon - Two things: 1) Will the Nano Rifle be in Red faction and 2) Can I take out an entire bridge with people on it with said Nano Rifle. I liked Red Faction: Guerilla and I encourage you all to go and play the original. Well not the original Red Factions...those weren't so hot, but that last one, "cult classic at best".

Mortal Kombat [Reborn?] - Logic tells me, as a fighting game fan, that the joy found in any Mortal Kombat is fleeting. MK2 was the peek of the series followed closely by UMK3. Something about a 2.5 version of Mortal Kombat with tag battles. It makes my pants tight.

Metal Gear Solid: Rising - Say what you will about the ridiculousness of the unintelligible plot, on a surface level, this game looks good. And thank the gaming gods that they actually show gameplay footage!

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 [Updated: 6 - 15 - 10]

 

GoldenEye Wii - Well it had Daniel Craig providing the voice work. I know its tres chic to dig deep into the cherished thoughts of gamers and 'reinvent' or 'reimagine' games, but the industry is starting to mimic movies. Lets hope games zig where the movie industry zagged.

Donkey Kong Returns - Donkey Kong would be one of the first revitalized series Nintendo would wow the crowd with and I have to say, seeing a game I have fond memories of being repainted and gussied up nice has me thinking. If there are three catchphrases I'm tired of, I discovered them all during this year's E3. "3D will revolutionize...", "An experience that can only be had in a multiplayer mode." and "Experience your favorite games now in 2.5 dimensions!"

Kirby's Epic Yarn - Just listen to that title. Doesn't it inspire giddyness? See...its Kirby in an artistically detailed game, but it has Yarn in the title. These thing all add up to, "Hey, I'm happy for you, but this doesn't move me in any way."

Super Scribblenauts - You know Scribblenauts was a game whose appeal was launched into the stratosphere based purely off its concept. When people played it they got poopcakes for controls and a cheat that would essentially break the game [Vending Machines will win you just about anything]. The only reason I found this game worthy of posting is because the concept is something truly worth investing time in. I mean at least its not another 3D FPS with Madden shouting in my ear while ESPN broadcasts it. Sorry, Its two days into E3 and already I'm fed up.

Kid Icarus Uprising - I never liked Kid Icarus. I thought the game was bad and I always hated the Eggplant King on the Captain N cartoon. Always thought that Eggplant King was a racist depiction of eggplants. But hey, its a new Kid Icarus for the kids to fall in love with...oh wait...its in 3D? And its on 3DS? Where the hell is the door?

Wii Party - Yeah, this looks bad. But not because its 'yet another minigame collection being pushed open middle-Americans', but the actual advertising is pretty terrible. Tell me something? When's the last time you seen such a well groomed family playing the Wii? Follow up: When's the last time you seen said family play the Japanese version of the game and 'pretend' to know what the words mean. Oh you have? Well look at you!

The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword - I must be one of 4 people in the gaming community that has 'grown out' of my Zelda phase. This game looks like its fantastic for Renfair goers and people who legitimately find Zelda still worth playing. Pass.

Gran Turismo 5 - I believe this could be GT5's third year straight being shown at E3. So let's run down the checklist. Rock track lightly jabbing at the rest of racing sim world? Check. Lush and lavishly detailed cars and environments? Check. Actual in-game gameplay?...err. Well at least the game finally has a date right? November 2nd? Surely the Polyphony Digital team will stick to this release date...right?

Dead Space 2 - This is a demo? Looks like a trailer with a quicktime event in the middle. Anywhoo, I dig Dead Space. One of the last titles that actually applies to the survival horror franchise [my favorite franchise]. I heard that they were doing the trendy thing and adding a multiplayer element to the sequel. Very surprised that hasn't been pushed to the forefront.

Portal 2 - The reason this is significant is because of these comments. Glad Sony signed a big fat check for Gabe...I mean...I'm glad these two entities could come together and see the big creative picture. That and I'm sure an apology was had between the two parties for the treatment of Orange Box's release. Sans snark, this game is something I'm excited for [on PC] and I'm really interested to see how it works out on consoles.

Kevin Butler - It is odd to see the gaming press trip over themselves to watch man, a witty man with damn near metronome comedic timing essentially sell you overpriced goods. Listen, I like Kevin Butler. I don't Joel McHale like him, but he's good at what he does. Its just weird to see professionals giddy about being plopped in front of a stand-up comedian who has one intention -- to tow the company line.

Final Fantasy XIV - Hey remember when Square-Enix wanted to 'publically shame' the FFXIII team last year by debuting the trailer for this game? Yeah, that was pretty funny. Well, it was funny until I played FFXIII and realized the joke was on me. I know a lot of people who like FFXI on PC and PS2. An online MMORPG has no appeal to me, but I'm sure this'll look good [snap] on you!

Killzone 3 - Yay another damn First Person Shooter! Oh wait, its in 3D and looks pretty. Guess we better take this Killzone game seriously. I still have yet to break the plastic on Killzone for PS2 and I and doing my best in having my copy of Killzone 2 collect as much dust on my shelf as humanly possible. If there is anything I can say about this or any Killzone game: Well, at least they showed gameplay.

Playstation Plus, Move, Little Big Planet 2, 3D Gaming and all things I could give a s**t about - Barring Twisted Metal, everything in the above clip pretty much personifies what I have little to no interest in as far as Sony or any other game company. Sorry, hey I'm all for evolving and technological innovation, but I'm [un]gracefully bowing out of this pissing contest between the billionaires. This all seems like a huge money grab coupled with one ideology, "How can we make the consumer look as dumb as possible while we sustain a consistent revenue?"

Infamous 2 - I'm still on the fence about Infamous 2. I really was hoping that this wasn't Cole. Although I had issues with Cole's initial design; I liked Infamous 2 overall. This new 'Cole' sounds different and of looks like an animated version of a campus douchebag. I heard the pitchline for Infamous 2 was, "You know how Tony Hawk is totally known for badass stunts and tricks...well we want to put that same ideology in Infamous 2." I wish I was joking about that.

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[Updated: 6-16-10]

Silent Hill - The music, the vibe, and actual gameplay footage has me [once again] putting my hopes back into yet another Silent Hill game. Making a survival horror game in this day and age is even more inspiring as a fan of the genre. I know they don't sell as well as FPSs and established action-based games, but the support for survival horror games is still very substantial. I wasn't surprised by a lot of content debuting at this year's E3, but this did make me do a double take.

Shaun White Skateboarding - This looks terrible. In my reviews and early talks about games I try to be as non-judgemental as possible, but you have to keep in mind. I'm not a professional. I'm not being paid to promote some form of professionalism that gaming journalism should aspire to. I'm taking time out of my day to show you Joel McHale make lemonade out of a turd cake. 

Marvel vs. Capcom 3 - The second game I was heavily anticipating and boy...well. Keep in mind I have yet to play it. The art style is something that just repulsive to me. I also initially hated the SFIV artstyle....actually, I still kinda hate this block yet caligraphal [if that's a word] style that Capcom stuck with. I adjusted and chances are I'll adjust to this to. Color me excited.

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[Updated: 6 - 17 - 10]

Tak Fujii vs The American Press - I know Fuji was trying to fish for compliments for some form of enthusiasm and as a journalist-oriented crowd they 'should' remain professional, but considering how everybody lost their s#!t at every damn shooter on the main [shinier] stage, I'm a little flabbergasted as to how the game journalism public picks and chooses their favorites.

Celebrity Corporate Shilling 3000 - I'm not one of those people that walks around the next day after an E3 and says, "Well millionaire game company X won the show, clearly." And if I did it would at least be in an awful Aussie accent. But at this year's E3 2010, we got beaten over the head with how awesome a product was from Sir Joel Mchale, Kevin Butler, even a wizard form of Iwata. But this crap here? Takes the cake, how much money was wasted shipping the celebrity meat party out to this Microsoft sponsored event? All in the name of fun.

El Shaddai - Don't you like it when you're surprised? Last year it was Last Guardian and Zeno Clash. This year it was Child of Eden [or Rez 2] and El Shaddai. Now, I've been skeptical about Ignition Entertainment since the release of the last King of Fighter's game, but the damn art has completely stolen my heart. The biblical story [based on the Old Testament of Enoch travelling to deliver the fallen souls to Heaven to avoid a flood] sounds amazing because stories from the Old Testament are hilarious. Totally biased to see this game succeed.

Devil's Third - The jury is still out on this one. I'd love to be surprised and I am well aware [just by the gushing trailer font] that this is an 'Itagaki joint', but I am also getting a bit of a WET vibe [pause] from this game. But hey...look at all the blood and guts. I guess that's awesome.

Project Dust - I brought up Zeno Clash earlier, but I'm going to have to double down on the reference. Dust looks amazing. Glad they pushed to the forefront that the trailer is all in-game. Little sad that there was no reference AT ALL to Beyond Good & Evil 2 in Ubisofts presser, but hey if it ever comes down to 'sequelizing' a game or introducing something wholly new...I say bring on that new car smell.

Comments

[Sel]

Thanks for the run down, saves me from needing to wad through the cyberspace, which would be far too exhausting and perhaps terrifying.

Watching out for a few of the titles, for sure. The Portal 2 moment, I could hear the WTF in the silence of the audience. PERFECT.

[Isaiah T. Taylor]

Thanks!