Cyrus Review -- Marisa Tomei Gave Birth To Jonah Hill?

Its Almost Like One Of Those "Find What's Wrong With This Picture" Isn't It?

Is it possible for a movie to be completely competent and incredibly predictable? Cyrus intends on proving around every turn, is something you have probably already thought of seconds before peering around the corner. We are also to believe that a sexually confident Molly, played by Marisa Tomei, is the mother of something resembling Jonah Hill -- who plays Cyrus. Though the casting may be a bit odd for the movie’s low budget nature, Cyrus makes for an interesting conversation while you figure out how odd or apt a reference is that John C. Reilly actually does visually favor the animated ogre, Shrek.

Everything about Cyrus is simple and fairly formulaic. Its a 90-minute movie in which you have to figure out how long its going to take for Tomei’s top to come off. Harsh? Hey, I love Marisa Tomei, these past couple of years she’s really come into her own, but as of The Wrestler and Before The Devil Knows You’re Dead, I’m starting to fear that the talented actress is becoming type casted. “What a terrible life to lead, being type casted as a hot mom.” You say sarcastically, but it would be nice to see Tomei branch out a bit more. And for you horny losers out there, no, she doesn’t take her top off.

 
Cyrus' Audio Setup Requires His Mom To Autotune Every Note While He Plays On His Grandfather's Synthesizer.

John C. Reilly seems to be suffering from another kind of type casting -- lovable oaf. He plays John in Cyrus, but really, its just John C. Reilly playing a meeker version of himself. John is suffering from an awful divorce from Jamie, played by Catherine Keener, only its been seven years since their actual divorce and Jamie has moved on -- and is now marrying someone from Upbright Citizens Brigade [Matt Walsh]. Let me get this straight, in the world of Cyrus: Marisa Tomei is producing a child that looks like Jonah Hill and Reilly’s manner of coping with his divorce from Catherine Keener is moving on to Marisa Tomei?  

Cyrus isn’t the most believable movie at times. When the interesting screen action that occurs between Reilly and Hill reaches a tilt you can’t help but think, “Wait, if Reilly moved on from Jamie and landed someone like Molly, why not just move on from Molly? You’re on a hot streak buddy!” But as it goes with these indy-slash-quirky romantic comedies, its hard-coded in our DNA to root for ‘things working out’. John is a lovable oaf and Molly is an amazing person to have entered his life at this very odd time. Why shouldn’t love conquer all?

 
Its Like A Cialis Ad Only This Ad Features That Hot Piece Of Tail Known Only As...Reilly.

I’ve been avoiding talking about Jonah Hill. Let’s face it, he’s been on an unfunny, shame spiral since Superbad and seeing him on yet another billboard or movie poster causes most logical thinking humans some form of immediate bowel evacuation. Fortunately for Cyrus as a movie and you as a movie goer, Hill as Cyrus is actually amazing. See, Jonah Hill’s shtick is playing annoyingly adorable characters. Cyrus is a manipulating mama’s boy who becomes instantly passive-aggressive the second his hot mom is planning on bringing a man over. Its the role Hill was born to play.

If this movie is still in theaters [which I doubt] bring your friends. Heck, bring your attractive parents. Cyrus is horribly telegraphed, but manages to be enjoyable by the logical zaniness of the characters. Cyrus as a electro-new age music producer, what isn’t interesting about that? Directors and writers, Jay and Mark Duplass are well deserving of an audience staring confusedly at a large screen.

I Give Cyrus...

I Still Have Nightmares Gage!

The “Evil Children Are Evil” Award