Saturday, January 3, 2015 at 11:03AM 2014, Blackness, Feminism in Equal Rights, Games Journalism, Gaming, Indie Games Saturday, October 5, 2013 at 3:15PM 
As a preface, I really stewed over the title of this piece. I concluded, that if a billion dollars worth of people are eager to hear this word, hundreds of times in a video game, then why socially veil it behind “the n-word?”
I’m writing this because I’m truly conflicted about that word -- because I use it. I use it in private company. I listen to it in my preferred music. I see it in some of my favorite films. And now, I guess I have to get use to it in my video games.
Another vital point: as of me typing this, I have never played Grand Theft Auto V. I’ve played others, just not this one. I’ve been over a friend’s house and watched her play it for a few hours. I’ve watch a few live streams by critics and pals on the internet, but I haven’t [for whatever reason or many reasons] played this game.
This word isn’t new. The internet will tell me to not be surprised at Rockstar’s ability to have it’s finger on the pulse of such specific cultural witticism and casual slang-infused dialogue between their characters. Ever since hearing CJ shout it out of a speeding car in San Andreas in 2004, there was some sort of benchmark set here. A benchmark for the word, nigger.
It really stings to write that word versus saying it aloud. That word. Ugh. A word I use. A word I ‘joke’ with. A word I put the “a” at the end of to try and dilute the impact and its history. A word that, I majorly use around friends who so graciously let me pollute their ears with it. There is no excuse for me using it conversationally. There is no excuse for me using it at all. Knowing why I use it doesn’t give me a conscious feeling of maturity.
I’m use to using it. I’m use to poor, colored folks using it. I’m not use to it in video games. My brain, at times, doesn’t accept certain games beyond a toy image and this toy has traditionally been made by non-colored people in positions of power.
The elephant in the room is that in order to accept the image of colored folk in multi-dimensional roles they must adhere to a stereotype that makes their presence “more palatable.” Colored people in award winning films are: slaves, prisoners, whores, thugs, addicts, dimwits, clowns, violent1. Violent. Violent. In five months you will see nominations and awards given to a film called 12 Years A Slave. A film directed by a African-European. Film has had time to slowly mature and the rarity of having a black person direct a film involving black issues, colored people issues. This is something, I can only hope, the gaming culture can accomplish on just as large a scale.
Almost 10 years after hearing CJ use it in San Andreas. A character I was almost too happy to say represented shades of myself and family friends in my … old neighborhood. There was also this feeling, even at 21 -- a “mature gamer,” that I was playing something so edgy that my mom shouldn’t know about it. She wouldn’t get it. The very black woman who brought me into this world, who’d raised me on her own -- who showed me how to play Ms. Pac Man, wouldn’t get it.
I guess we all were dumb kids at some point.
This character, CJ, represented so much and held so much weight in GTA: San Andreas [even though you could send him on murderous rampages and have him beat up women] he was written to not only use that word, but to be an attempt at a three-dimensional person of color. A person from poverty who had tired of his gangbanging days and wanted out of the Los Angeles inspired, Los Santos.
There is this part of me that I’m not allowing to mature. I’m not letting go of that word and I think writing this whole thing out will help, in some way, process if I ever will. Either that or there will be several family members and friends on the internet giving me what-for, I expect mom to be the first to slap me. Form a line behind her.
Here’s where my logic becomes something unrelatable to many. I feel, especially after the word’s use in several games since San Andreas and now with casual conversation between Lamar2 and Franklin. I don’t know why this has to exist in GTA games anymore. I also feel, after the recent revelation that more people are currently playing GTA V than any game on Earth [for the time being], that if more people see this word used in casual conversation -- that the word within this generation, loses meaning. Within that there is this idea, that I should prepare for more major game publishers to culturally cherry pick portions of us3, more so than they have already.
Semantic satiation. The act of using a word so many times that the word is just a sound you hear. Meaningless. The psychological phrasing is semantic saturation, which may be more apt in a post-Dave Chappelle world. I also have to acknowledge that we live in an online connected community and as of me typing this, GTA V’s online features haven’t be turned on. When that happens, I’m wondering if my illogical hypothesis will bear fruit.
It’s not that I think having a game that has black people saying that word back and forth to one another will provoke others, in real life, to do as the Romans do. Because then we open the horrible conversation of “do video games cause…” when in reality, I’m not trying to be absolute in the result. But since CJ’s appearance in San Andreas, and the rise of violent video games being played by more people in an online capacity -- I’d be a liar if I didn’t say that there are more people on the internet calling me … that word.
A word, that I still use, but never online and never in mixed company. I still use it. And it disturbs me that a game that can’t -- won’t depict more minorities having casual conversation in their games is still willing to show these ‘attempts’ at semi-developed black men say one of the most hurtful words to one another to an audience that has spent decades co-opting and vulturing ethnic culture.
What perturbs me most, out of all of this, is that we see that there is so much good possible within games culture by looking at the most recent Grand Theft Auto games in the past decade. From depicting CJ as a thug who wants to escape his social caste system in San Andreas. From an Eastern Promises inspired Nico who immigrated from Russia to pursue the American Dream to find anything but. To The Ballad of Gay Tony, an attempt to feature a character who is gay, but is given more character development to the point of his sexual orientation being moot.
It would hurt less if these attempts weren’t made, but since they were we have to state the obvious. Rockstar is not capable of depicting the disenfranchised beyond established stereotypes. They will put women in sexually suggestive poses on their box covers, but not give a player the options of playing them in any story capacity. Rockstar is very capable of giving you an almost turn-by-turn realized virtual reality of Los Angeles in Los Santos. They can enthrall you with the many mechanics of violent outcomes of characters they’ve established as anti-heroes. They are not interested in showing these anti-heroes beyond a stereotype in a world they’ve so meticulously mimicked.
This fosters an audience of people who think things like this are funny. This makes me think that the language, the depictions, that word [THAT word] that Rockstar is so eager to display for hundreds of millions of dollars is merely just for that. And the glaring omission of anything meaningful, of women -- of their conversations? Is purposeful and that makes me upset. Nigger is not an edgy dialogue device to be encouraged in a game that isn’t interested in showing that word’s cause and effect.
I’m not a punch line to your joke.
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1Apologies for the serial commas, but I really needed them.
2The character who plays Lamar is a comedian named Gerald “Slink” Johnson that I find funny [and problematic] and I’m happy he landed a pretty big role in one of this generation’s biggest games.
3By “us” I mean the royal “us.” The poor, LGBT and disabled. All forms of the intersectional society that remains the punch line of jokes and a plot-point to move an edgy story forward.
GTA V, Rockstar in Console Gaming, Criticism, Culture, Entertainment, Equal Rights, Gaming Thursday, March 1, 2012 at 11:57PM
[I mean, I say “sub-cultures,” but I know why you’re here. ]
In the previous days the well-read and progressive-thinking ventured to the seediest part of town to catch a dog and pony show, respectively. Only a handful know of it, and are privileged when invited. These writing dignitaries stared into a cage rife with filth and a stench that could conjure convulsive dry heaves. When they looked in, they saw a beast that resembled a human, but clearly wasn’t capable of acting like one.
A malnourished, feral child looks back at the visitors through a cage. It’s seasoned. It knows what faces to make and what songs to sing. But it also knows that these people are only here to see that one special trick. The freak is the main attraction, and always has been the main attraction for this one trick. When the well-dressed visitors pay their pence, the host hands the freak a whole chicken.
SNAP! Without a second thought, that chicken’s head is off and is making it’s way through the sharpened teeth of the freak’s foul-smelling mouth. The visitors look in disgust, but they still look. They call it names. They can’t believe it’s existence. They shuffle and scoot closer. The freak picks the fowl apart meticulously, not forgetting a bone or sinewy tendon. It’s trick is over. A crass belch is let out and for any who continue to gaze, the freak gazes back.
Only this time, the freak threw the bones back. “You’re the freak. I’m the geek.”
Journalism, Misogyny, Reporting, Sexism in Criticism, Culture, Equal Rights, Video, Youtubeness Monday, February 6, 2012 at 8:54PM
David Simon, Economy, Language, PBS, The Wire in Culture, Economics, Entertainment, Equal Rights, Video, Youtubeness Tuesday, July 5, 2011 at 11:08AM 
Nice work on the neck-fat there John.
[image courtesy of Hardcoregaming 101]
[I was originally going to post this on 1up.com, but their editor won't save my work. Also, I'm at my day job and I don't want to make it a habit of writing up stuff, while I'm supposed to be doing other work. So, this is just between you and me internet.]
Wednesday, August 12, 2009 at 1:40AM August 2nd, outside of the Whitehall Walmart, an 80 year old woman; wielding a small knife was seen as a threat to the officers on the scene as well as the surrounding citizens. Using a wristlock the female officer subdues the woman by slamming her to the ground. On the one hand, this elderly woman does have a knife and can inflict damage with a weapon. On the other hand, really? Slamming her to the ground?
I'm posting this crazy late and I have to get sleep...if there is anyone who has more info on how this began [and how it ended] I am sure more people would like to know.
UPDATE: Here's the NBC4 article. It turns out the 84 year old woman is struggling from dementia. [via DonnaNBC4]
Local News, Ohio in Culture, Equal Rights, Violence, Youtubeness Monday, July 13, 2009 at 9:07PM Falling in line with all things tech culture related on the brog, Penn & Teller have constructed quite the piece debating the factual evidence surrounding violent video games and their effects on this generations moldible minds. As in any episode you would find of Penn & Teller, be prepared for tons of profanity [awesome] and loons [on both sides of the fence] as well as some solid points made on behalf of the games industry. Do violent video games make for an aggressive person or personality? Is it training our children to be zombie-like killers?
More Parts 2 & 3 after the jump!
Thursday, February 12, 2009 at 7:28PM 
Awww...Damn
Just read an interesting article about black video game characters over at Edge. Definitely worth the read and discussion [and yes I do know that 'video game characters' by-and-large are pretty awful].
"Fear For Your Puny Lives!"
