The Watchmen: The Complete Motion Comic

They got it right. Warner Premiere, will be releasing the 'minimally animated' Watchmen: The Complete Motion Comic on DVD this Tuesday. I had the fortunate pleasure of wasting 5 and a half hours at work and watched every chapter. While watching the grand finale, which is translated perfectly, you will probably wonder, "How are they going to make a movie out of this?!"

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Burnout 3 [PS2] Review

This review has been a long time coming [considering I finished playing Burnout three weeks ago].

As my journey of playing through my PS2 games in alphabetical order continues, something quite wonderful has happened.  I have finally seen the joy of being a fan of an 'Arcade' racer.  Not since Ridge Racer 4 for the PS1 have I felt a kind of quiet satisfaction one gets from playing a game like Burnout [Sheesh that was a little overly gushy].  I should amend that statement, Burnout 3 is as much an 'Arcade racer', much like Jessica Alba is a well known actress.  Yes they are known for what they generally are, but the quality they bring to the table is what should be talked about [only this works against Alba].

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The Uninvited: Why Watch?

It Was Manditory They Were Nightgowns The Entire Movie

Yep, I knew what I was getting into.  I had other options. Watching paint dry being one of them.  Let me ask you this, where else are you going to see a very square-headed [Emily Browning] girl fight her own sanity, Elizabeth Banks as the new 'hot step mom' and keep her very loose sister [Arielle Kebble] in line long enough for one of the boringest climaxes seen so far in 2009.  I give you, one of the least wordy reviews I have ever penned for a movie...I give you "The Uninvited".

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Coraline - The Movie That Almost Was

Escaping to a better plot eh?

Today we talk about Coraline. A movie, that myself and I am sure many movie goers have been looking forward to for the past year.  Unfortunately, I have some terrible news to report.  If you were hoping to see a stop-motion animated movie of the caliber of Nightmare Before Christmas you will be pleasantly un-surprised. Coraline is a beautiful achievement for animation [especially stop-motion], and it was quite a joy to see this movie in 3-D. The cons out weigh the pros, the story is almost as 'by-the-numbers' gets and the more interesting character [because there is really only one] is not fleshed out to any degree.  Coraline is not creepy.  It is not intriguing.  It is a slow moving bore of a movie.

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Doubt - Well...yeah

Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

If you have ever seen the Upbright Citizens Brigrade episode, where one character is bragging to a video store clerk that he had the 'titular line' in both Star Wars and Out of Africa, well you just may be completly ruined if you decide to indulge in one of the best acted movies, but ill-executed stories in Doubt. It is an Ali vs Frazier-esque type of movie where you get to see two actors at their best. In one corner you have Meryl "The Nun Heat" Streep and in the opposing corner you have Phillip "The Perv Priest" Seymour Hoffman two actors pretend to argue, one was in Mamma Mia.

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The Wrestler - a review from a Wrasslin' fan

Straight Outta Jersey...

If you were thinking Milk or the Dark Knight were your favorite movies of the year, you may want to check out The Wrestler. Mickey Rourke stars as well...a Wrestler who was once a big name about 20 years ago, but now has fallen on hard times. Rourke plays Randy "The Ram" Robinson who has had substance abuse problems from recreational drugs to performance enhancing since, from what I can assume, his glory days. Randy has an estranged daughter; whom of which may or may not be a lesbian. He's in love with a stripper who is also coming to terms with her age in a business that thrives off of youth. You must know that The Wrestler is one of the most straight forward movies I have seen in quite some time. Seeing as I 'use to be' a big fan of 'Wrasslin' as a child and somewhat in my teens, it is great to see a work by Aronofsky no less, that is comparable to Beyond The Mat.

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Milk: Review [took me long enough...]

It took me long enough didn't it? About 2 weeks removed from watching this movie there were about 2 'other' reviews typed, but fell prey to my 'edit-friendly' fingers. What you should know:

• I will be criticizing this movie under the pretense that you, the reader, already know that this movie is above average [its amazing].
• Seeing as I have already written two 'over a 1000 word' reviews, this will be a more condensed version that gets to the essentials of content and quality in this movie.

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The Unborn: Makes Me Pray For More Abortions

It's Not The Uninvited...I Promise!

This is the worse movie I have seen in 2009.  Granted we are only two weeks into the year and I have only seen one other movie in this year [Milk...review to come soon...still brewing]. Be that as it may, the Unborn is by far one of the worse movies, absolutely-laughably awful theatrical releases I have seen in quite sometime. Fortunatly, the rest of this review will cover the 'hilarious' aspects of this terrible feature.  Its all about pointing out the silver linings...I still have no idea what I will award this flick.

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Let The Right One In: Review

After A Mean Game Of Simon Says...

This year has been weird for foreign and indie flicks in my little city of Columbus. We have a couple theaters [literally] that play foreign releases months after they've been released. I'm not complaining; I'm happy I can see anything cool in this city without having to drive miles to make the showing time. Something really strange about this particular movie. Let The Right One In [Lat Den Ratte Komma In] was being shown at a pretty mainstream theatre around my hood. This is notable because: A) This is awesome B) What does this mean for my other local theaters that supposedly 'specialize' in getting the latest indie or foreign cinema?

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Valkyrie Movie Review

"My Eye Is Totally Not There Brah."

So Tom Cruise has decided to put all of his production money & swagger into what seems to be Bryan Singer's biggest effort since X-men [we'll just pretend Superman Returns didn't happen]. What is most interesting in Valkyrie from the get-go would be the amazing cast. Kenneth Branagh, Bill Nighy, Terence Stamp all staples in British cinema deliver solid performances in this film. People who seem to be almost unrecognizable in their roles would be Eddie Izzard who plays Gen. Erich Fellgiebel and David Bamber who [no-offense] visually could be a carbon copy of the very real and dead Adolf Hitler [which reminds me, isn't Hollywood dying for a zombie Hitler trilogy series?]

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