The Vampire's Assistant: It's Not For Children And Some Grown-Ups

John C. Reilly can paint a fence and I would watch. There is something about this guy that carries movies which would be sub-par without his touch. Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant manages to combine the 80's horror-campiness of a One Bitten and the sophistication of a Near Dark. A good majority of the movie is spent with bloated expository scenes, the few actual "Cirque Du Freak" moments are executed incredibly well, but not well enough for this movie to be palatable to everyone. The Vampire's Assistant is a movie for tweens and adults, who are willing to give a pass to most of the boring characters and their subsequent dramatic scenes.

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Fatal Frame [PS2]: The Greatest Game I've Never Finished

I did not finish Fatal Frame. It was not because I was to scared. It was not because I grew bored with this game. I simply ran out of ammo. Can you believe it? I have been playing Fatal Frame for the Playstation 2 intermittently for about 2 months. Had it not been a perfect storm of user error on my part and brutal, archaic game design on developer Temco's, this positive review would [or could] be more in depth. My PS2 catalog playthrough continues.

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Paranormal Activity: A Great Movie Under Certain Conditions

Paranormal Activity is a hard movie for me to review. From the onset, you will need disclaimers:

 

1. If you are a fan of horror films and like the feeling of being immersed in a story, do not go and see this movie until it has a completely rid itself its middle-to-high school attendees. Advice: Go in two weeks of the posting of this review.
2. If you are not a fan of shaky cameras or generally get motion sick, this may not be the movie for you.
3. If you love old people, go and see Paranormal Activity on a Sunday afternoon for optimal viewing.

 

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Zombieland: How Did We Get Here?

The saying "history repeats itself," is quite fitting for cinema. We are living [and enduring] a number of fads right now. A large majority we will regret telling our offspring the magnitude in which we so voraciously supported such trends.  However, the zombie fad as of the past ten years have proven quite fruitful. Movies ranging from comedic homages, like Shaun of the Dead to hyper-realistic social commentaries of the 28 Days/28 Weeks caliber; all have added depth to the horror genre and our current zombie fad. The question is, where does Zombieland fit into all of this?

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Orphan: Ridiculous Plot, Pleasant Surprise

Orphan will not make sense. It will have moments in the plot that bend logic well beyond a breaking point. However, given the somewhat strong cast and out-of-nowhere twist, you may find yourself making an exception for 'yet another horror movie starring a creepy looking child'. 

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The Uninvited: Why Watch?

It Was Manditory They Were Nightgowns The Entire Movie

Yep, I knew what I was getting into.  I had other options. Watching paint dry being one of them.  Let me ask you this, where else are you going to see a very square-headed [Emily Browning] girl fight her own sanity, Elizabeth Banks as the new 'hot step mom' and keep her very loose sister [Arielle Kebble] in line long enough for one of the boringest climaxes seen so far in 2009.  I give you, one of the least wordy reviews I have ever penned for a movie...I give you "The Uninvited".

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Google is now one of 10 most recognizable brands!

These Women Have Absolutely NOTHING To Do With This Article

Just in case you aren't aware, those ladies are throwing up the 'Ballin'' symbol. You see it is something you do when you feel care free and feel the need to show others around you, "Why yes sir, I am making a crap-ton of money...and no...I will not be sharing it with you."

Google after ten years of existence has placed 10th in Interbrands annual Best Global Brands survey. Although this probably seems like no suprise to those who are internet savvy or just have a job that revolves around a keyboard and glowing box. This is quite the feat for Google seeing as the rest of the companies on that list have a couple decades on them.

If you feel like next year Google will be dubbed "Humanity's Lord & Savior" you are not alone.