What The Wire Has Taught Me...

[Part 2] 

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Commercial Break: Driving In Asia or Asian Drivers?

I think it's a bit passe to do jokes on matters like, "this culture walks like this, and this culture talks like this." But then a friend sent me this clip via e-mail earlier this week. Blood immediately sprung from the inner recesses of my mouth. I was biting my tongue so hard.

I'd like to think that someone with a camera in their car could put together a seven minute clip of vehicular manslaughter just about anywhere on this earth. So why is it so funny when it's Asia? And from what I can tell by the language, China in particular. 

These guys and gals are just trying to get to work, or to the bar, just like you and me. Though it may seem like the brake pedal was installed in their cars for lols, I'd like to point out that usually, the car with the camera in it, is usually not [grossly] disobeying any traffic laws.

That being said, this s**ts funny. And funny goes a long way with me.

FYI: If you any of you out there have footage of anyone, of any particular ethnic background, temporarily hurting themselves in a vehicle of any kind please feel free to send that to this site's e-mail [it's on the sidebar, can't miss it]. Please no gore or mamed limbs being lost. It will only get posted if I find it funny.

Audio Files: Bjork & Gondry Together Now You Know You In Trouble

Coming from a drum & bass-slash-dubstep [active] hater, I'll leave it to Bjork's newest single to do justice to a combination of sounds I traditionally hate. 

Heck, I'm not even sure if I like Bjork!

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Commercial Break: Damn Goku, You Got Caught Slippin'

Sometimes you just have to take off your shirt and embarrass your brother on the internet. More so, that is. If you notice, he stands up holding his side, I presume several ribs were broken. We like Jeff. Jeff The Brother is the kinda guy that butts into your life when you may be taking things too seriously. Like say, impersonating a Dragonball Z character for animation and special effects requests. 

In the past week, my TV has been acting funny [so no console game reviews until Toshiba finds out what my TV is possessed by]. I managed to lose my phone charger and could only charge my phone via car kit [which, oddly enough, had me miss more text and calls that I originally planned -- mea culpa]. 

I'm starting to think that maybe I pissed off someone in several past lives, maybe shirtless. Whatever the case, maybe we all need a shirtless Jeff The Brother, to hop in on us doing something ridiculous. Don't stress the small stuff right?

Don't stress the Kamehameha. /newmantra 

Commercial Break: Classics Of Games = Amazing

The youtube channel Classics of Games has been keeping me company this morning while I sift through angry e-mails and comments about how, 'I'm gay for not liking inFamous.' Yup, this is how we are spending our Fourth of July morning folks.

Let's put a positive spin on this. Classics of Games is a collection of [perfectly sized] excerpts from video games, that kind of encompass the constant struggle between what makes a game useless and what makes a game stand the test of time. [I dare you to un-see the Jackie Chan fighting game]

After the jump are a select few that made me smile on a day where I'm supposed to be telling mom about, "how gay I must be." Yeah, let's put that one on the refrigerator.

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Commercial Break: I Found Some Animal Stuff On The Internet [Work Safe]

So it's been a week since I've posted. I've been holding out on ya Internet. Don't fret, it's all part of my plan of making the times I do post that much more special, and mildly confusing. Let's be honest, that last post was a bit heavy.

Today's topic: Animals are weird to me. I'm pretty sure if I was in the jungle with 99.9 percent of any animal, I'd managed to end up dead and partially eaten.

I say partially, in the case of an animal that just wants to kill me and not devour my [assumed] delicious hind quarters.

Below you'll find more inspiring images from our animal friends, that will not only brighten your day, but hopefully encourage you to make the most of it. Why? Dude there's a hawk eating out of some Nepalese guy's hand. Now quit reading and get to watchin'! 

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Commercial Break: Get Drunk & Hit Somethin'

Ever have one of those days where you just want to take the keys to your pick-up and run it through your favorite watering hole?

No?

How 'bout just politely grazing one of the cement pillars while you completely f**k up your drive train and vehicle alignment? Yeah, I thought so.

Work has picked up on this end the brog, which is a good thing. I'd be lying if I didn't say that'd I may be a smidge overwhelmed at the moment. Writing, art projects and dancing have made little inroads to me being less grumpy, but it's helped birth many future ideas. Loads of which, I'm sure I'll be grumpy about NOT working on with my eight minutes of free time.

"We're working on it!"

It's something I say to the people at my nine-to-fiver. When in all actuality, I should be saying, "I'm planning my escape! The tunnel is coming along nicely!"

When I see the man in this video. The one getting effortlessly thrown out of a bar and lack of social couthness. I think to myself: 

"Self? I wonder what kind of job he has? Do his kids love him? Is he still thinking his wife will come back?"

But then he puts the keys in. And we all learn a valuable lesson. That's right...

Steal a car, then drive it into your favorite watering hole.

E3 2011: The "This Could Be Good For Gaming" Edition

Papo & Yo [Minority Studios]

[Update: 6-19-11]: I guess it's been noted on several sites that the creator of the this game is making it as it relates, allegorically, to his life. The creator, Vander Cabellero, was raised by his father who was an alcoholic. The game is centered around a young man raised in Columbia [like Cabellero] who goes to this world of fueled by his imagination, when times get tough in his personal life. The young man befriends a rhino-like beast named Monster. Monster is addicted to frogs. The young man must alter his world via puzzle-solving tactics, but he must feed Monster frogs for his help. The penalty is that Monster turns belligerent when fed too many frogs. That's all I'm willing to know and write about this game. Really can't wait.

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Commercial Break: NYC Biker Runs Into A Lot Of S**t

I'm not the biggest fan of bikers. Most that I've come across seemed to be jort-wearing entitled butt sniffers. But hey, there are exceptions to every biker, right? And maybe a lot of the bikers I've entertained hitting, became the way they are because of the laws in place. So this is me, trying to meet the biking community halfway. If we can work on getting better bike & traffic laws, then you can work on getting the f**k out of my way.

Also, I hate your pants and hats. That is all.

Commercial Break: Drive So Fast You Make Them Cry

Not much to say about this one. I want you to see the English translation, click on the "CC" link next to the expand button in the tool bar. I'm hoping to find and replicate this very moment with a friend, I just need to find a woody path and a hi-rev tuned car. Also, I need to learn another language fluently. My American accent just won't do.

Possibly invest in douche bag fitted hats. Okay, and make friends with well-off Saudi before the summer is out. Damn, this just keeps getting more complicated.